Burglary- This is when someone breaks into your home or business while you are not there. They steal something and get away. You don't discover it till later. This is not an emergency.
Home Invasion Robbery- This is when someone breaks into your home or business while you are there. You are threatened with weapons or bodily harm. Even better if you are tied up and have to dial 911 with your tongue. If you slept through the whole thing, see burglary, above.
Simple assault - someone (who is not a relative or a roommate) slapped you, pushed you, punched you, or kicked you. This is only an emergency if it is happening right now. Please do not call 911 if it happened yesterday.
Aggravated assault- involves a weapon, or someone beat you within an inch of your life. If someone pummeled you with a rock, shot you with a pellet gun, or beat you till you had compound fractures and a broken jaw, that's agg assault.
Domestic violence- DV is when you are fighting with anyone you've ever lived with or had a relationship with. This counts as cousins, brother/sister, mom/dad, even roommates. That drunk chick you've let crash on your couch for two weeks? Congrats, if you're arguing with her, that's a DV.
*Interesting fact about DVs. Under state law, once you've called 911, we cannot cancel these for any reason. So if you call 911 to scare him into behaving, too bad, so sad. You can't say "Never mind. He's leaving." I will still send police, and screw up your day. Imagine the liability if he forced you into saying you were fine, then took a blunt ax to your head! You cannot also decide not to press charges. Not your decision, that is all the per vue of the prosecuting attorney. Don't call 911 if you don't mean it. Don't try to use 911 as a weapon. It doesn't work that way.
If someone broke into your car, its not a burglary or a break in, but a vehicle prowl. Check your police department's website. You might be able to report this on line. In other words, we don't care! Why'd you leave your Ipod/laptop/$1800 cashier's check in your car anyway?
Larceny- This is theft. Just say theft. Unless you are an attorney. Well, even if you are an attorney, please say theft!
Shooting- Besides "Officer down", this is our highest priority call. If you heard shots fired, please say "shots fired" or "gun shots" when you are asked what you are reporting. If you are bleeding from your abdomen as a result of a bullet fired from a gun, please say "shooting" when asked what you are reporting.
Harassment- The most common type of harassment complaints we receive are that someone keeps calling you and won't stop. Call your phone company. Have their number blocked. We really don't care about phone harassment. What are they gonna do? Ring-back tone you to death?
One last tip. If you call 911 to ask why no one showed up last time you called 911 (invariably for a noise complaint or some such nonsense)...you will be put on hold. For a very, very, very long time. Think. Is your status update an emergency? No? Oh yeah. Thats what non emergency is for.
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